I binged on Friday. My binge lasted the whole day and left me feeling down. I didn’t see it coming but once it started it was like a runaway train, I couldn’t get enough. Before you suggest I book an appointment with myself (or the other Foodtrainers) there’s something you should know. My binge wasn’t on cereal or chips or ice cream. I binged on the royals or more specifically I binged on Kate. In food terms this is the equivalent of binging on a food you’ve never had before as I wasn’t the least bit fixated on the wedding.
My husband came home from the gym early Friday morning. I was, where I am now, at my desk- hands perched on my keyboard, coffee cup lurking. “I can’t believe you aren’t watching,” he said. “Oh right the wedding, I’ll put it on.” I turned on the Today Show. The ceremony was underway. I wasn’t pulled in immediately. I made the boys breakfast, answered their monarchy-related questions and pretty soon it was time to leave. I set the DVR and went to drop the boys at school. I had 11 miles on my running schedule so it was a while before I arrived home.
Once home, the trouble started. I clicked “Today Show” on the kitchen television and sat down. On the “kiss countdown” that was displayed I had 30 minutes. Instead of fast forwarding I decided to watch a little. I watched Kate and William leaving the ceremony. Her posture was perfect, her smile natural and her skin zitless. William seemed a little anxious, gingerly stepping to avoid stepping on her dress. And the dress? Very pretty though I didn’t enjoy that corsety thing on the bodice. Let’s be real though, the woman (or the duchess now) is 5’10”, she’s athletic and thin (but not too thin) even the Queen’s banana get-up would look well on Kate. I didn’t notice it at the time but the more I watched the worse I felt.
I watched the newlyweds’ carriage ride back to the palace; I watched kiss (or peck) 1 and kiss 2. I went on with my day but the binge had hardly started. Once home again I watched multiple shows “post-game” report. I turned on 20/20 only to learn Barbara Walters was doing a 2-hour special on the wedding. My husband headed to bed after saying “I just don’t get this, I don’t really see why billions of people care.” The Lauren who was oblivious that same morning was now defending her new habit. “How can you not care, this is history and a fairy tale!” I couldn’t stop. I learned Kate allegedly did her own make-up. I saw the dress she wore to the evening party (gorgeous) and how she carried herself with poise and restraint. I recalled a post I read on a blog called Verging in Serious. Cameo wrote a post called Magazine Goggles about reading fashion magazines. On a recent trip she gorged on glossies and was left feeling rotten. The same thing happened to me with my royal goggles.
As I was going to sleep (finally), I was feeling as though my life was dull. I wasn’t a princess, would never wear a dress like that. Once I had hopped on the pity party train, I was lamenting the fact that I’m not tall, not in my 20’s and could never to my own make-up as well as the Duchess. Ugh. I finally fell asleep. The next morning, I was a little “hung-over” from my binge but it was a new day. As I left for yoga I was seeing the other side of the coin. I had no make-up on and looked pretty dreadful. I was taking a new class and couldn’t master most of the moves. I ran some errands after and realized nobody cares the way I look because nobody is watching. I can go about my day looking blah, less that poised and have a pimple or two. I can even “binge” because nobody is monitoring my every move. Can you imagine binging at Buckingham Palace? Imagine.
Do you ever find magazines or celebrities or royals make you feel inferior? Did you watch the royal wedding? What do you think Kate eats (or doesn’t eat)?
Lauren, I had such a similar experience that I had to comment. I watched the whole thing and by the end I felt horrible about myself for all the same reasons you listed! Then I started feeling sorry for the royals, because I think their lives are probably pretty terrible aside from their financial resources. Then I started to feel cynical about the wedding and Kate's decision to pursue a relationship with William. I had to call it a day and go to bed and just assume that in the morning I would be back to being myself.
Cara, this is exactly why I posted. As much as I joke it was undeniable. I think seeing something so unreal makes "real" feel like such a foil. And yet real is better.
I loved everything about the wedding…dress, pomp, tiaras, everything. But I, too, felt let down at the end, but it was kind of like the let down I felt at the end of my wedding. A year of planning, of anticipation and hopes, and then it was over. Personally I enjoyed the diversion and the reason to show up to work 2 hours late.
you always make me smile, yep lamb is great as an Indian curry theres a fab recipe on my blog if you like hugs
Lauren, I so get it. But I am glad you only allowed yourself one day, because you are drop-dead gorgeous, radiant, energetic, a great Mom, and have so much going on, that wasting any more than a day on that kind of binge would just be down-right NOT YOU.
Carrie- so sorry if this sounded spoiled. It wasn't as though I was really trying to, as my mother nicely says "do a number on myself" it was this knee-jerk reaction. Once I realized it, I called myself on it and didn't swell. Looks aside, lucky to be healthy and basically happy and even linger on these thoughts for a minute. Thanks for the compliments, even if untrue they always feel good, don't they? So will you have a 10 food train (sp?) on your dress?
LOL…I didn't watch the ceremony….clicked a few of photos later online though. She is a beauty, so is her sister Pippa.
wow Angie, are you LOL at my "binge"? Actually think the sister upstaged the bride in certain ways.
But I think you're so pretty!
I actually felt glad I wasn't Kate — I hate attention — my wedding guest list was capped at 30 people.
Thought on Pippa, Lauren…I think she wore that dress bc that's what Kate really wanted to wear. So Pippa was the "real Kate" representative, as opposed to "Duchess Catherine" in the other dress. Does that even make sense?
I get it but I just think Pippa is like "I'm no princess, look at me" it drew attention do her.
I was exactly the same way. Didn't really care until I started watching. Once I started, I couldn't stop. I kept thinking about how I would totally be sweating in that dress, my fingers would be too swollen from nerves to get the ring on, and my skin is definitely not that flawless. I hate it that I immediately started comparing myself to her. But I completely agree that I am so thankful not to be in the public eye. P.S. You are beautiful 🙂
I watched the wedding and I loved it. I had watched Princess Diana's wedding when I was young. I was happy that they married for love 🙂
I used to get sucked into watching shows like entertainment tonight… but I would always feel like I was missing out on something. Now I stay away from the TV as much as possible because it seriously is a waste of time!! It helps having 3 little ones in the home because they make it difficult to do anything that involves sitting. Love your article… you put into words what many of us feel.
Thank you for the mention! I totally feel you on this one. Somehow the more we know that is available "out there" the less happy we can feel with what is here. But, I also believe that acknowledging this occurrence within oneself and being able to identify its root is a great big step toward moving beyond the constant self-comparisons. Easier said than done for sure.
You didn't sound spoiled at all! This was very real. I often "binge" on fashion mags. It is easy to see images that are glamorous or "royal" or just plain untouchable and to kind of want to be that… But in the end, if you can snap yourself out of it and see all the gifts you really do have (like it sounds like you did) you are on the right track. There are so many messages in this world–hard not to dwell in the world of "I wish I could be that….." every now and then.
Lauren – I love your honesty here. There are times when life or celebrities make me feel decidedly unremarkable and obscure. But then I realize how wonderful it is to be anonymous, to run around and live life and do what I want without being watched. I wouldn't trade with Kate for the world. But then again I've never been big on the princess thing 🙂
Not such a bad binge! I did not watch, but I kinda wanted to. I would have gotten sucked in in mere seconds!
Sometimes I'll blog binge and feel so inadequate at the end of it all. a full day of reading and comparing myself to so many fabulous bloggers and it totally has ended in tears before! I try to stick to visiting my friends and saying hello to the gals i've gotten to know over the years that area fab support system and avoid over-doing it! eep! I didn't watch the wedding but I can understand what you mean about feeling like you've been through a full on binge!
xoXOxo
Jenn @ Peas & Crayons
Awesome post, awesome comments. I feel inferior all of the time – and I work in advertising, have friends at some major fashion pubs and despite know how much airbrushing, seam ripping, pinning, good lightening and smart camera angles come into play, I still am constantly comparing.
What helps – let's face it, in NYC you are BOUND to run into a model, celebrity, etc at the gym or just running errands and very often, they really don't look all that great. And that's kind of nice. And then there are the kind spa estheticians, who, without revealing too many specifics, will let you know that celebrities are human too.
Regarding Kate – she has a team of people to get her into shape; she also seemed like she took care of herself to start with (we aren't talking Jessica Simpson here). So of course she looked great (though that dress was one of the most perfect creations to come out of any McQueen collection). It was fun to watch and nice little does of what (hopefully) will have a happy ending.
As you already know, I too, couldn't get enough of the royals and their wedding. In fact I still can't. It didn't make me feel bad about my life, it just felt like I was watching a fairy tale. On the other hand I did think that she looked stunning and am inspired to revamp my sloppy eating habits.
Despite my fascination with all things London-related, I was not at all interested in the royal wedding. I do, however, find myself comparing myself to many other people in magazines, including my hero Gwyneth Paltrow. I basically want to be her and I snap up any publication with photos/articles on her. As much as I love her though, she does make me feel inferior. Too often!
I agree wit Jen above me, it's a good post and I think I will be a regular visitor as a follower or something like that 'cos I am pretty interested in this kind of topic and themes.